I love casinos, particularly slot machines. Unfortunately, I love them in the way that I'm unable to buy myself an iced tea for the ride home after I'm finished gambling. My brilliant solution for this was to start betting on horses. Here was my logic: I would simply select one park, so that I would only be betting on one race at a time. Since 23 minutes elapses in between races, I would lose less money than if I was playing slots.
The first time I bet on horses, I was at the casino, Wild, Wild, Wild, Wild, Wild, Wild, Wild West in Atlantic City. (I'm not sure exactly how many "Wild's" are in the name, so I always insert few extras, just in case). I placed an exacta box bet, which means that I chose two horses that I thought would come in first and second place. Since I boxed it, order wouldn't matter. The race was Hollywood Park. It was rainy and muddy there, the perfect conditions for a longshot to place high in the race. In accordance with that theory, I placed my exacta box on Horse #2 and Horse #7. I waited anxiously for the 23 minutes between races to pass. Finally, it was Hollywood Park time. Betting on horses in that casino is very exciting-- the races are displayed on enormous projector screens, but there are also small, personal televisions at each sitting station. A lot of people (almost exclusively men) stand and yell things while the races are going on. Everything seems very quick and important. It appears as though there are some very heavy amounts of money at stake. I wanted to be a part of this, so I stood up and began yelling things, too. I felt a part of something exclusive, and was determined to take this seriously. I was in the big-leagues now.
I had placed a $2 bet.
The race started! The gates opened and the following things occurred, in this order:
-- Horse #7 slipped and ran into Horse #2, knocking him over.
-- Both horses fell.
-- Both horses were subsequently disqualified from the race.
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