My New Sneakers/The Best Thing I Heard All Day

Today I decided to take a walk to Dunkin Donuts while wearing my new sneakers. I was very excited to try out my new sneakers because they are not L.A. Gear or Richard Simmons Signature Sneakers, like I have had in the past. When I put on my new sneaks, I felt bouncy and energetic, as though I could get from my house to Dunkin Donuts in one step. I felt just like The Princess in Super Mario Bros. 2.

It was right after I ordered my coffee that I experienced The Best Thing I Heard All Day:

Guy #1: Can I use the bathroom?
Dunkin Donuts Employee: Yes. I have to buzz you in.
Guy #2 who was not with Guy #1: (loudly and angrily) BUZZ HIM IN?? WHAT IS THIS, THE F***ING PENITENTIARY??

Yes sir. It is just like the penitentiary. When I think of being incarcerated, the first thing that comes to mind is being surrounded by muffins, bagels, and strawberry icing. It's like the same exact thing, only different.

Also, excuse the Dunkin Penitentiary management for not allowing the trusting, responsible people who hang out in front of Dollar Tree and Popeye's Chicken and Biscuits, to go into Dunkin and freely use the bathroom whenever they want.